‘Don't touch my daughter': Woman Forbids Mother-In-Law From Holding Her Baby After Child Throws a Tantrum

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    AITA for telling my MIL she's not allowed to hold my daughter? (Against my husbands wishes)
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    My MIL is 64. My husband and I are both 30 and we have a 4 month old daughter. I've had an issue with this since day 1. So, she came to see us when my daughter was 5 or 6 days old and the way she held my baby was ridiculous.
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    Face down with her head sideways, her hand on her head and no other support, my daughters legs pointed up toward MILS elbow and swinging her back and forth fast enough to give her the startle reflex repeatedly while
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    screaming. She laughed about it. Thought my daughter being scared was hilarious apparently. I took my daughter back, told her she was never to hold my daughter like that again. She pulled the "I've had 4 kids, I know what I'm doing talk" and refused
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    to see my POV and so, I didn't let her hold her again until she was 2 months old. Same thing. As soon as she is able to hold my daughter again she starts flinging my daughter around in the same position. I
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    immediately take her back and say "obviously you haven't learned your lesson. I told you that you weren't to hold my daughter like that. I don't find it funny that she's screaming while you're flinging
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    her around and not supporting her body at all." I told her and my husband she's not holding my daughter again until she stops disrespecting me. My husband was p sed but didn't say anything because he "gets it" and sees why
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    it sketches me out but is still bothered that his mom is "alienated". I told him when she learns to respect me, she will get another opportunity. He agrees.
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    Well, she's been coming over often and I figured I would give it another shot because she's been good and it's been 2 months since the last incident. She takes the baby but immediately flings her in the downward position while
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    aggressively "getting" her neck, no support to her head or anything. Again, my daughter starts screaming and flailing her arms out in to a startle reflex. MIL again starts laughing and saying "ooo, such a scared baby, it's cause
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    momma don't play with you". I took my baby from her arms and told her to leave and said she will not be holding her ever again. She asked why and I said it is because she once again is being disrespectful and laughing at my
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    daughter being scared because she refuses to stop being so aggressive with her. She turns to my husband and says " this, I won't be coming around anymore" and leaves. My husband is PED at me right now. Says I'm cutting
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    his mother out over MY fear and that the baby was fine and "she raised 4 kids and likely did the same ..... to us and we turned out fine". I refuse to budge on this. I'm not okay with her flinging my baby around. I don't care how many babies she raised. AITA?
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    ETA: just so we are clear, my baby is not colic and she hardly ever cries. If she does, it's because she's tired and I can calm her in seconds. When my MIL holds her however, she literally screams.
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    Even if she wasn't "doing anything wrong", as a mom with a baby who hardly cries, hearing my baby literally scream while this woman does this is not okay, at all.
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    ETA 2: I want to point out as well that I did NOT know it would be like this when marrying in to the family. We barely saw MIL because we lived over an hour away. We now live 5 minutes away and it's been . It's obvious that I married a mommies boy now. I'm hoping off for awhile. thank you guys!
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    Not-a-Cranky-Panda. 7 hr. ago I wouldn't even let her within a mile. As for your Husband look how he turned out.
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    Overlock453 - 4 hr. ago NTA. Your concerns about how your MIL is handling your baby are valid and you have the right to prioritize your child's safety and well-being. It is essential to communicate your boundaries and if your MIL
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    refuses to respect them, it is reasonable to restrict her from holding your baby. Your husband's perspective may be influenced by his relationship with his mother, but your primary concern is your child's safety.
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    MapleTheUnicorn · 7 hr. ago Nta - you have a husband problem as much as a MIL problem
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    Careless-Ability-748 · 7 hr. ago Nta wth doesn't she understand?
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    Flashy_Variation 9648 OP. 7 hr. ago She thinks she knows better because she had 4 kids 30 years ago. My husband is the youngest so she hasn't had a baby for 30 years but she
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    apparently knows better than I do. But if you ask my husband, he blames the stroke she had when she was in her 40s.
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    butterfly-garden - 6 hr. ago If her childrearing methods were so perfect, why is your husband such an ?
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    Flashy_Variation9648 OP. 6 hr. ago I'm starting to see that there was no umbilical chord cut when she had him apparently. I didn't notice it before because we lived by where near her. Now we live 5 minutes away and it's super obvious how much of a mommies boy he is. When my water
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    broke, he called his mom first instead of the ambulance. Wanted her in the room without discussing with me. I shot that down. He has given her an open door policy to our home as well, without telling me. She shows up whenever she feels like. I told him
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    that wasn't happening anymore and it's all "but she's my mom". I'm actually grossed out. Not even kidding. These past 4 months have been a nightmare.
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    Soft-Gift72526 hr. ago Dude I feel like I need a diagram cause I just can't picture this at all
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    Flashy_Variation9648 OP - 6 hr. ago So like.. picture a baby face down (facing the floor) laying on your arm length wise. Feet by your elbow and their neck/head in your hand. Both their legs and arms dangling
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    on either side of your arm. She was holding my baby like that AND swinging her back and forth super fast. Almost like she was about to throw a bowling ball. Wasn't supporting her at all, outside of holding her neck/face.

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